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Land of Lost Socks,People,Shit

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Oh my God I just wrote an entire paragraph complete with correct spelling and what I think to be funny quotes and looked down and to my horror it was not there where the hell did it go I assume you went to land of lost socks, people and SHIT.. everything seems to go there these days…

Oh well what I was saying is that I have entered a sort of forced literary state in which I am forcing myself to complete daily blogs, or some form of writings dear god ,what have you.. It is so that I may rediscover My gargantuan love riding and explore my creativity so far I’ve discovered is a sense of impatience and annoyance having to sit and conjure something from the inner recesses of my brain into my iPads keyboard.. how really mean of me to do this to myself. Can you think of it I’ve been requiring all sorts of stuff for myself lately before you know it I’m actually going to set a schedule or something ridiculous notion’s to be carried out by… Forget it now I’m getting extreme…

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Mass Masturbation

Clix

and clips taken.
hella pix

Hardens many dix 

Here we go

Vlognumero six 

As U Present

 In reverence, I bow n submit

Desire,love I feel it 

In all its incompetence

Being created within me

Taking you with me

 perpetuating a frenzy

Turning into something real 

Turning you into hardest steel

 That will penetrate an inferno

Be spent and consumed

Buried exhumed

Thousands of times 

By desire’s design 

becoming what’s mine

The very basis of this sexual manifesto
In utero

in my interior universe
No, not I

I never quit!

Give it 2 me now
As you taste meWow .

 Give me ALL of it. 

Somehow. 

Consume me, I demand it.

I want you.I want it !

Now. whole,

 Entirely .

Pleasure divine.

 Extincts normal time.

Dieties within us

 This lust

 Becomes us.

desires own design.

Your heart, your steel.

All mine.

You are mine. 

My property.

Properly submit 

Your submission

elicits

erotic elation

A cause for celebration

Defining  the sum

Of our Dual equation.

You like to come?

You like it if I come now?

Because I can.

.AND  I must admit I SO want to get down

Exuding such excitement
As your fly  slowly goes down

God Metal makesSuch a carnal sound

 Your shaft, I  ,infused

with profound passion 

my eager lips worship

Are dying to be used. 

BATTERED, bitten ,sucked, bruised.

The sacrament of repeated rituals

 Mayrted in masochistic abuse

Whispered on the wind

Your erection is a suggestion

To which My lips Form a ?

Quickly , quietly it becomes a lesson

I was created to feel this sensation
My legs will split 

A thousand splits AND

Eroticly  elicitHungry growls 

Before wrapping around your spine

Burning a sexual constellation Into the night sky

Sexual symbiosis an ethereal gift

To be ritualistically revered 

The universe offered
And we volunteered.

We are deeper creatures

Deeply intense

We don’t feel things mildy ,

no subtle secondary reactions

But respond quite violently

Volcanic eruptions

,spontaneous combustion,

intense sexual satisfaction

Untamed tsunamis

waiting to happen

Known not by their names

but by their actions

Desire .

Distraction.

First.Last.

satisfaction.

Their Desire is a forcefield Of Pleasure Without measure

It’s qualifications(When channeled straight through the quivering human soul  is a )

Pure manifestation of carnal celebrations

with etheral elaborations

that deplete and devein  the heavens ……….condemning the earth to mass masturbation

( of which there is no relief only furious frustration.)

The culmination , an accumulation of the combination of….

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Hello from a brand new computer, brand new everything.. not even my number or network are the same. har har har.. try me now buttholes! I realise it is still possible to trick me.. a little..i’ll become aware of it before you do all the way.. but my first instinct is to do as people wish..wish I wasn’t so naturally, inherently compliant. But then again Im glad my very nature isn’t suspiscion.. aren’t I? Maybe it should be, for the world I’m still living in with at least one foot.. but I’m hovering over a new world and soon I’ll have both feet planted firmly in it, where people all aren’t automatically out to trick or harm you , cause things to happen to you. I can’t believe I’ve been in that world for so long. Well, SO LONG…..

ps Ill be back and add a photo later.. I’ve got to find a way to transfer them without transfering any bugs. Remember I’ll be streaming tomorrow at noon on http://www.onlyfans.com/maniacalmoon

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Ffqgttvvvb
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https://www.manyvids.com/Video/2123519/At-a-customers/

Correction…I start streaming on the 13 th..I will have venue info closer to the day..still setting up my cams..you’re going to come, aren’t you.?

Email me at moonghostxxo@icloud.com for more info…or to sign up. Please check out the massive amount of new media on my http://www.patreon.com/Maniacalmoon and onlyfans.com/Maniacalmoon or tribute 1$ to my page at http://www.clips4sale.com/31122

I would cry a river , but I can’t swim against such strong current. Instead I will curse the universe and my place in it…..

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Yesterday’s old lame served up like warm last time today

Well hello there today. I’ve got to pay a few bills then get a new computer then I will be streaming live on all my sites. I find that much more feasible

When I was in Greece I would lay on the beach at night and pretend I could follow the golden path the moon stretched out across the rolling surface of the sea. But I could no more walk over the sea then the sea could walk over me, nonsensical, yes. Do I care? No. Not even minimally? Nope. I’m all tied up in current endeavours.. no time for the Bullshit of yesterday’s.. um.. whatever . Soon I will be hacker stalker/malware free. However this has cost me everything and then Sam I’m down to nobody’s last dollar so if you think of me PayPal me a dollar to Melissauser079@gmail.com . I can chooose between a package of jello for lunch or half an old ramen noodle.. Great like I need., anything.. and everything.. and at least something.. cuz it’s all better then nothing Which is the only thing I have plenty of which is the only thing I have plenty of ..,in fact I OK i wrote a song once in California called , “I’ve got plenty of nothing “ which is the only thing I have plenty of . Except frustration it’s been a living hell trying to sign in to my email account every day only to have Google say it’s a new device it’s not recognizing I have to go through all these hoops and stuff I find out the password has been changed yeah I’m sick of all that crap and the texts I get they find out what I hate what irks me and that’s what they text all of the voip numbers my God

This is Darwin

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Poem from COC on twitter

Entering slowly
on a quest for the prize
Planning my move
staring into your eyes
Steamy & sticky
poised on the perch
Raunchy & ready
going on a search
I have you kneeling
waiting for my command
sweetly submissive
pleasure on demand…”
©cOc
bookShow.me/B00F1KAKN6/

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Yesterday’s Vlog

These vids are old.. I’ve decided I talk entirely too much about the hacker bulllcrap. I give it energy.. shut up woman! Never mind it’s ruined certain aspects of my life.. it’s NOT what I’m gonna talk about and soon it will be history

I love this man.. you should hear his unique sound and amazing voice..

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Your Name

Goo Goo Dolls


A tired song keeps playing on the tired radio as reruns all become our history… if you could lay beside me maybe for awhile, and I won’t tell no one your name… GooGooDolls

Like a dagger, you stick me in the heart and taste my blood from the blade.. but when we sleep you shelter me in your warmest darkest grey.. if I close my eyes forever.. will it all remain unchanged.. ? Ozzy Osbourne 

Yo Recuerdo

We were in the tent at Starved Rock State Park under the covers, laughing and squinting with the early afternoon sun in our eyes. I remember the trees were in full seed and the canopy above is sent a deluge of helicopter seed pods raining down upon or tent, making soft patters that weren’t unpleasant . 

With an annoyed frown you glance at Eric, who is fumbling around with a life jacket on the other side of the tent. You scoot closer to me, mischief in your eyes and slip your hand in my panties. I guess I still wore them back then. Your hand begins a slow and teasing rhythm and you whisper “ come for me” in my ear as your other hand finds my breast, your teeth attach you to my neck. I start to sigh loudly but you remind me ssh.. and annoyance slightly Mars the pleasure on my features as I imagine Eric over there, the constant drain on our privacy that summer. Just one of many. 

Afterwards you smooth my panties back into place and offer me a hand to help me up, I’m surprised to see a few hours have passed and the sun is sinking into the edge of the canopy. You take my hand and hold the tent flap open, and like two guilty children we hurry single file silently past Eric and disapear into the darkening woods. You find a path somehow and we walk on amidst coyote howls, ne completely unafrsic of any of them because I know you would never let anything near me. The camp office cabin looms out of the dark and a picnic table in front of it. You let go of my hand and begin tearing at your clothes .. and I can feel your eyes, hot and excited upon me in the dark. I throw off my clothes and go kneel in front of you,suck on you like a ripe cherry about to burst and hear your sharp intake of breath as your fist knots gently in my hair. I stand up and in synchrony we move towards the table.. me sitting on its top and you standing in front. A passionate fiery romp later we walk hand in hand back to the misery of our shared tent. We can never be alone it seems.. which is all we’ve wanted for years. I’m still smiling like this is a new love and I know you’re feeling it too. It’s fucking amazing… can’t describe it. We sneak into the tent and onto our matress and sleep as we always do, my head on your chest. I have not slept so deeply now in such a long time. 

In the morning you are fixing the line on some fishing poles as I am messing with the fire as a grim faced ranger walks up. He tips his hat and gets right to the point.. “ I want to remind you folks this campground is under surveillance with night seeing cameras so please use your discretion when walking about the camp” 

My mouth drops open and forms an embarrassed O while you just start laughing your crazy white boy wicked laugh.. our eyes meet and then we both laugh together, sharing a private memory as Eric says, “ wonder what in the heck he’s talking about guys…” Today I am sharing that memory with myself, sharp pain in my nose trying to blink the glass from my eyes, my jaw clenched too tightly to smile. Haven’t smiled a real smile in so long I wonder if I remember how…guess there’s only one way to see if I can remember… 

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain, wind whispers and I think of you. All those tears u cried they call my name, when u needed me I came thru. I’d stare a lifetime into your eyes, so I knew you would be there for me , time after time u were always there for me.. Remember yesterday, walking hand in hand.. I remember you.. through every sleepless night and every endless day.. I wanna hear you say I remember you.. 
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The Lousiest Lhoser in Historie

Well I’ve been telling everyone for as long. As I can remember that I’m hacked. I’m not sure how. Or if I’m just super cerebrally stalked. But I’m pretty sure it’s both. I’m pretty sure who it is(nt) m’y answers might surprise you.. not only is my view of http sites different, but things trigger on their own, apps are really other things and videos/photos are saved differently also im usually on some weird foreign date and time, Bluetooth n BBC WiFi are always turning on.. anytime u surprise lock the phone and unlock it.. the cam n video apps are open and running and also series of numbers and contacts can only text at certain times , etc and sone of them have taken on entirely new personalities( some viscious) take this single father/ construction worker I knew.. he was raising a daughter by himself… and remodeling his house.. he was a neat guy with houseplants, his dad was a cop. No sooner had I met him and (key element here) added him into my contacts. Did his demeanor change into that of a psychotic duschebag .. ensuring that I would not pop in to see him anymore.. thus revealing the secret. And further allowing the perpetrator to unleash an onslaught of typed terror and abuse at me undetected for awhile.. or so he thinks.. this is the text I received this morning T 6 am.. as you can tell by my horrified speech.. it is not nearly the first of such texts .. you know what I remember where this guy lives, I think I’ll go by his house and see what’s up.. my guess is it ISNT really him,. The real guy had a chiffarobe for Godssakes..and a little girl no psychotic stalking sociopath has one of those., much less knows what it is…or wants to do hateful things to women.. and just air this out quick n proper.. this is just one minute detail of the constant barrage of abuse and scandal I am under.. let alone violation of privacy, rights and time.. …..

THIS IS THE TEXT I RECEIVED TODAY FROM THIS GUY, supposedley “ Kent”
+1 (321) 243-0708

“””””Hey this is Ken again, I want to fuck skinny methhead while shes high, know anyone?””””””””

Notice the plus in front of the number, I don’t think it’s him or it’s right.. what is it a disguised what’s ap # or something? Help me! Tell me or offer your input!!
I responded this.. I’m long winded I know but I’m so tired of this nonstop bullshit.. the hacker had gotten brazen lately feeling his own nuts and disillusioned about the size and importance of them.. has really stepped it up a notch…

MY REPY

*******No one I wouldnt demean anyone though by referring to them with those particular terms/labels ….which are only used solely for that purpose.. putting someone down(or trying to)kinda gives away your purpose, huh? Lol

It’s so easy to put it delicately or conjure some taste to your appeal or request.. but to objectify and demean someone thru use of derogatory terms /narrative takes time, inclination and objectification and MALIGNANT INTENTIONS….. all of which I’ve no interest in and
almost CERTAINLY is aimed to insult the READER herself.. thereby getting/earning YOU a free jab in without the possibility of obtaining a positive answer from the target… u get to give an insult n keep ur $$ lol but you lose anyway.. super happy RN don’t care for anyone’s insults thoughts or money… just entirely DGAF to even take offense .. um , sorry? Maybe next time I’ll be down or something n u can achieve desired result.with ur carefully scripted insult.. . but have a nice day and be mindful of ur future texts… if u don’t want to be considered as the hacker or part of his little repertoire.. phones , interactions being investigated rn supposedly by osa… ****

the “jag off “ responded THIS as if to imply I was just a rambling metther myself.. which goes along with the theme of all random unknown texts lately .. the person wants me to think that’s how the world views me.. they really want to alter my self esteem and feelings if self and how I am portrayed to myself in my minds eye.. a real psychotic, woman hating sick fuck.. I hope he gets caught soon and I don’t encounter him somewhere with out his disguises.. always is trying to lure me out alone at night, offering large sums of money…. his response

+(321) 243-0708

$$$$$$$$Holy senseless ramblings. Take care, I just figured you might know some women that need to make some cash and have a particular habit, but hey, if you dont that’s fine. Take care, I’ll bother someone else next time.$$$$$$$

MY TURN

@@@@@@@@@@Yeah please do.. thought I’d previously made that clear last time you were texting me slurs and insults disguised as “job offers” lol DF WTF NO I don’t know women who sell drugs, like to be slapped treated badly and anally violated with brute force.. For or without cash you creep… nor do I know any self hating super high meth heads that are into self debasing.. not into that line of hate at all and never will know or associate with any psychopath who is ( knowingly)

PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR INPUT.. just trying to help someone out with some cash? Holy fuck and reacting with shock because I am angry and calling it rambling, as if he had a perfectly rational even helpful request?And hasn’t been bothering me with insulting , hideous texts even before this??? Lol I don’t need a comment to know that I’m right. But sure would appreciate it.. and all this from someone who’s been informed I’m hacked and harassed so wouldn’t be speaking to me in that manner, or just plain period.. what do u think??

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Eyes Wide Shut

lut, anything but, so take ur smut& stick it up ur ass
all the people tryna fuck w me
Casualty of the carousel

Under a blackened sky

far beyond barren city lights

sleeping on empty dreams

with over stuffed too much pillows

and vultures lie in wait.
If you were beside me there

or in any waking nightmare

surely I would see your breath.
Guess I loved you to death.
What next?
Im left with nothing left?
I was the best posey in ur vest.

See the storm spread in your eyes, feel the thorn twist in my side and I wait ……. with or without you… I can’t live….

There’s always two paths you can walk on but in the long run, your spirit lies on the whispering wind…..

Animals gathered in masses

just like witches at Black Sabbath

Evil minds that plot destruction

Sorcerers bring death n dysfunction

oh lord, yes….

they only started the war

I could peel the lids back from your dead eyes

but I still couldn’t get them to see

The whole wild world inside of me is

existing undercover

Maybe it could recover

if I am discovered

on the compass of an uncomplicated lover.

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Where Do We Go

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What do you want from me, why do you run from me , when we both fall asleep, where do we go? ( like I wanna end me.. ) B. E.

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https://www.manyvids.com/Video/2058904/Bon-d%EF%BF%BD%EF%BF%BDange-and-financial/

Hello I hope to stay in contact with you, I’m having some issues paying my phone bill because somehow , someone called “as me “ and shut off the unlimited data early in the month and I received no notifications .. wtf? Like I would do that!! Save ten dollars to go up 700! I told the company of this senseless absurdity! They did not commiserate! I wonder what kind of reptilian monster is at the other end of the line? I keep saying I’m going to report this.. and I have in the past, to find out I wasn’t really speaking with the pd. who the hell was it then? And then my rides to do so in person.. each and everyone don’t take me but take me on an all day excursion through their errands… wasting yet another day…so I’m taking it upon myself to go and do it , come hell or high water. As for using an unmanaged device, I’m thinking of accosting some random stranger and saying, let me use your phone, please! Think I have a chance? Lol ! Geez life’s so crazy! And something else is perturbing me.. something too sensitive to touch.. an old would sliced open daily that hurts so much…. of course I cannot get any of my live show options to work! What other ways of raising money are available to me without a car? (Stolen last year) I have to be a target of some evil organisation(lol jk) because I’ve never before now experienced bad luck… you can tell by my prolific whining and inability to handle it or even make decisions or come to conclusions.. all I’m producing is more confusion when I’m already bewildered enough! Lol well a certain clarity just hit me… and I know what to do and who to get to do it.. me! Yes me, I’m going to handle all of these roadblocks to happiness and freedom from troubles! Who?? Me, yes, me! Don’t ask me how yet.. I will have to make it up as I go along! Should have relied upon myself from the get go! Better late then never. Especially when you have no friends but new ones, and everyone seems to be interrelated! I’m not jaded! I would write a book about it but it’s overrated(by me) and definitely degraded! Now to turn the helm in time to create a new path, make a new wave. If I pull my shit together, I want to host greet and greet here in Tucson, would anyone go? Xoxo– 
https://onlyfans.com/maniacalmoon
https://www.patreon.com/Maniacalmoon
https://www.moonghostmoods.com

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Hi I am the Maniacal Moon, alone in the sky , facing the room. The first in class , the last in line. Everything I love stolen by that thief, time. Still I evolve and move through each phase. The adoring stars illuminate my nights, Empty and solitary are my days. Still I grace the sky with my luminous face and unyielding grace. And so I will until the end of my days.z https://youtu.be/FnPx7JkLA60

Servitude
by Anne Reeve Aldrich

The church was dim at vespers.
My eyes were on the Rood.
But yet I felt thee near me,
In every drop of blood.

In helpless, trembling bondage
My soul’s weight lies on thee,
O call me not at dead of night,
Lest I should come to thee!

Balcon (The Balcony)
by Charles Baudelaire
loose translation by Michael R. Burch

Paramour of memory, ultimate mistress,
source of all pleasure, my only desire;
how can I forget your ecstatic caresses,
the warmth of your breasts by the roaring fire,
paramour of memory, ultimate mistress?

Each night illumined by the burning coals
we lay together where the rose-fragrance clings—
how soft your breasts, how tender your soul!
Ah, and we said imperishable things,
each night illumined by the burning coals.

How beautiful the sunsets these sultry days,
deep space so profound, beyond life’s brief floods …
then, when I kissed you, my queen, in a daze,
I thought I breathed the bouquet of your blood
as beautiful as sunsets these sultry days.

Night thickens around us like a wall;
in the deepening darkness our irises meet.
I drink your breath, ah! poisonous yet sweet!,
as with fraternal hands I massage your feet
while night thickens around us like a wall.

I have mastered the sweet but difficult art
of happiness here, with my head in your lap,
finding pure joy in your body, your heart;
because you’re the queen of my present and past
I have mastered love’s sweet but difficult art.

O vows! O perfumes! O infinite kisses!
Can these be reborn from a gulf we can’t sound
as suns reappear, as if heaven misses
their light when they sink into seas dark, profound?
O vows! O perfumes! O infinite kisses!

Rating: 1 out of 5.
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Angry Johnny bluk

So I was robbed last night play frail little man with white hair incredibly hairy legs and noseSo I was robbed last night play frail little man with white hair incredibly hairy legs no , Who is claiming to help me me too late do I find out He was really the antichrist and was stealing photos and videos of me as well as taking them also I’m pretty sure he was trying to cause me to get run over on a bike that was too large and bulky for me to write he was trying to get me to follow him and just copy his moves exactly at the same time he did them without bothering to turn to look to make sure I wasn’t darting out in front of oncoming traffic. It’s a good thing I didn’t listen or I’d be a splotch on the road right now,Instead of a splotch on my friend XXXs bed, The next-door neighbor who is kind enough to help me and so far for helping the only reward received was to have their WiFi hacked by the deplorable dickhead. At least now I have an insight into how he does it ,using algorithms to guess your password….I know this because I seen the webpage history on my phone I guess he thinks by doing all of his hackers things through my phone he can escape being caught.Well he’s at least avoid any contact with you police so far that way because that was how I made all my Reports. So I didn’t bother this time, but I’m stuck, my elderly roomate is at home by himself, with his own hacked phone, and I’m worried for him more then me. The whole reason I’m hacked is this group of idiots who want my roommates credit card Info ….all of my cards have been drained as well. My phone won’t let me get anyone real…my contacts are all fake people.,… I know so because asking an uncle and a friend for help they replied they wanted drugs and anal sex. Fucking crazy world. I have no friends, no family to call, only thankful to these people who took me in, who are hacked as well. I’m going to go take a walk soon and take vlogs to show u what and where. If you can cash app me ANYTHING please I would appreciate..stuck with no shoes, only jammies on , no money n no way of checking on roomate… please

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Contact me …

Melissauser079@gmail.com is my PayPal

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The Good and The Bad

Don’t forget to check out my sites http://www.patreon.com/maniacalmoon

join or make a pledge!! YeahMore later

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Love Spells and other B.S.

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Here I am

there I was

where do I go

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All along I always knew

That this is what I’d get from you

But I put it from my mind.
Now you’ve put me from your mind.
Now I’m something left behind.
No happiness or peace of mind.
And I cannot push rewind.

I’m sitting at my friend Chuck’s house watching him and my dog sleep… but sleep evades me just the same as peace and contentment..haha. I would like to be content, sated.. but I am not. So.. what else is there? I don’t know.. my life is currently full of nothing!

Take and eat my erotic sin
heaven beside you; hell within
Sink my teeth into your flesh
take my soul it’s all that’s left
Lie to me don’t leave me alone
I need someone to be my home
my body is tired and needs to sleep
but my spirit is wild n will always roam
through blackest nights and depths of deep

LOW

Sometimes I wanna take you down

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sometimes I wanna get you low

wipe the hair back from your eyes

lay you down watch the river flow

sometimes I wanna walk these streets

behind. Green sheet of glass

a million miles below their feet.
a million miles, a million miles.

be with you girl

is like being low

hey hey hey it’s like being stoned.

Oh my God! D’iOS Mio! I am so exhilarated! And it’s only the first notch of the belt! It can tighten a lot more. Cut out all the unsightly gristle and fat! I’ve FINALLY discovered how my phones hacked! That God for S, the data scientist! An old suite account I hade made and forgot about.. it had all my devices listed in it, all my enail addresses and a zillion rules etc and worse of all Google Meet with the notifications turned off.. that’s why the camera was. always on! People were able to initiate cam calls with me without me receiving notifications! Fucking violation! They could hear anything.. set all the rules on my device, screw with the apps, control the browser settings.. and make new devices.. that’s why my device was a new device every freaking day!
As soon as I discovered it.. I got in there and started deleted rules and apps but when it came to deleting the browser rules.. suddenly my account was suspended ! I went to sign into another one and the password was changed of course! It would not let me reset it! But that’s a small problem! This shit is over with almost! I seem to remember a certain person calling me months ago, taunting me saying they were coming over and wanted me to fix “noodles” .. that’s the name of gsuite app that lets you in to peoples account without the password. Imagine that cockwipe TAUNTING me with this.. and my dumb as taking him literally. My gut suspicions were right the entire time.. the entire time! Those devious d”,ckheads are going to be completely contrite for having fucked with me.. I’m removing a lot of it tonight and what is left. Well it’s a matter of days. And my new high tech laptop will be here in a few days ! God I detest you guys so much the crap you caused me.. ALL OF YOU. The fake account makers for Instagram, FB, twitter and etc.. the clec calks, the emails.. I got you.. you ain’t got to go nowhere! But y’all willl! I’ll only spare one! The shit is done and I’m making certain y’all never want to do it again! God I’m thru with you losers and interlopers messing my life, finances and trying vainly to mess with my head! I’ll talk to my lawyer tomorrow. Hopefully I have a nice little lawsuits! There will be immediate retribution! Fucking Popeye, jr, others I won’t mention here, fuck you all, ding dong the witch is dead. You all can quit messing with my life now and better focus on your own.. for sure!
DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD THE WICKED WITCH Of THE WEST IS DEAD.. DING DONG THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD!!

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Idgaf

Here I am , where I’ve always been and never wanted to be.. ghastly … to think that someone comes here intentionally. A long journey down winding paths, most of the time you weren’t even beside me. But nevertheless you paved the path and this is where you brought me… I don’t want to be here to keep company with your ghost, though of the two of you he was here the most. Although in comparison I’d say he holds more appeal.. because of the two he never lied and kept it real. I don’t know if you ever loved me what does it even matter? But you showed me how it feels to be hated and jaded , and how each day can grow colder and even sadder. If I were to judge it by an expression of actions … which speak louder then words.. I’d have to say you fucking hated me.. yeah I’ll stick with that I don’t want to lie to myself ever again.. I don’t ever want to make anyone else’s lies more palatable .. to live in a lie is a world uninhabitable .. that I did for years was unimaginable. How can I ever articulate, the absurdity that accompanied me while I wait , that allowed me to love with an intensity someone who so frequently showed me hate. Oh well that shit was in my fate. I’m enraged though I didn’t see that all the time you were making a joke of me.. little things you said and over the phone .. were really encrypted little fuck you dumb bitch fuck you’S that didn’t hit home . Because who can expect such hatred from any other? I guess it was hatred that made such a passionate lover. I can never understand the cruelty and absurdity of your actions, whatever your intentions they never happened. Why did you take me and make me a joke.. the memory of reading texts and posts you used to write about me on Facebook ( the most) is what used to make me really sad. I spoke so highly of you and anything you said about me was bad. It took years to discover I was dealing with a sociopath. You fucked me with love and spoke of me with wrath. No wonder I was so confused. It was all a ruse , and now I’m of no use. Which is fine you no longer amuse. I only wish you didn’t have to be a coward too. At least coulda been psycho with balls .. but no, too cowardly.. none, none at all. Lying calls to hang me on for years .. why?? Just to fuck me off real good for GAF about you? Stupid. Well I’m getting over it . Once I realise the true nature of a thing.. or a “not” thing.. it’s over. Whatever it was all for a reason.. I hope that reason was to teach you regret or that at least once in your life you’re shown love (wait no you can’t feel it as a sociopath that’s right ).. although that’s a long shot in the dark I bet. Surely the reason wasn’t to teach me.. “ never trust a whitey” lol

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That’s the last rhyming rambling pile of crap I have to regurgitate on that matter. That you even read it, I’m flattered.

what does it matter

this is my new streaming channel. I will be on tomorrow at 11am, and 4 also by request. Email me at somoteitbee3@gmail.com to let me know.

walking in a dream

walking through time

noone beside me

I have lost my mind

or maybe I just got it back

what does it matter

my soul is slack

my heart couldnt be sadder.

But theres no one to care

no one to see

no one to give a fuck about me

but this isn’t new I guess

i never even thought to factor

that my life was the part of an actor

one who disappeared without a trace

damned retinal memory

put out my eyes so i cant see his face

Stupid ig losers and their premature victory banter..

‪Ghost white hand of reality crept through my delirium, upsetting the equilibrium of the die that had been cast. The sky cleared , the sun appeared .. the waters were calm at last. As I looked over the horizon towards tomorrow yesterday came into focus and I saw all its sorrow was solely for myself and laughed at it’s now apparent hocus pocus . Sometimes you want to believe a thing about a person so much but it’s really so you won’t doubt yourself. Realised you made a mistake and admit it.. review it clinically n forget it.. it never even knew you . You were wrong once when up against a professional! So what!! You’re neither actor or scammer.. you are the real deal! You don’t have to wear a mask cuz ur face is already beautiful … you have nothing to hide!Don’t worry the things you are your own professional at are much more rewarding! As one thing faces depletion you will be fulfilled in far more substantial ways! Heavens know what’s best for their child even though you doubted.. that thing was far from best.. so now you know.. go and be glad .. You will reap the benefits for years while others only reap what they sow. No more of what u have .. didn’t it feel good to let that darkness n stupidity go!? P‬

I have nothing to say today.. except for “ los sientos estupidos” to the intolerable idiots who’ve been riding on my back for far too long..

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So mote it be…

New Moon New Me
New Energy

You can bet I’m planting my seeds

New Moon New Me New energy

The earth under my feet

consumes my energy..depletes

So it’s so very sweet

mine is renewed by the moon.
Nothing said bothers me, I turn it into fuel.