Goo Goo Dolls
A tired song keeps playing on the tired radio as reruns all become our history… if you could lay beside me maybe for awhile, and I won’t tell no one your name… GooGooDolls
Like a dagger, you stick me in the heart and taste my blood from the blade.. but when we sleep you shelter me in your warmest darkest grey.. if I close my eyes forever.. will it all remain unchanged.. ? Ozzy Osbourne
We were in the tent at Starved Rock State Park under the covers, laughing and squinting with the early afternoon sun in our eyes. I remember the trees were in full seed and the canopy above is sent a deluge of helicopter seed pods raining down upon or tent, making soft patters that weren’t unpleasant .
With an annoyed frown you glance at Eric, who is fumbling around with a life jacket on the other side of the tent. You scoot closer to me, mischief in your eyes and slip your hand in my panties. I guess I still wore them back then. Your hand begins a slow and teasing rhythm and you whisper “ come for me” in my ear as your other hand finds my breast, your teeth attach you to my neck. I start to sigh loudly but you remind me ssh.. and annoyance slightly Mars the pleasure on my features as I imagine Eric over there, the constant drain on our privacy that summer. Just one of many.
Afterwards you smooth my panties back into place and offer me a hand to help me up, I’m surprised to see a few hours have passed and the sun is sinking into the edge of the canopy. You take my hand and hold the tent flap open, and like two guilty children we hurry single file silently past Eric and disapear into the darkening woods. You find a path somehow and we walk on amidst coyote howls, ne completely unafrsic of any of them because I know you would never let anything near me. The camp office cabin looms out of the dark and a picnic table in front of it. You let go of my hand and begin tearing at your clothes .. and I can feel your eyes, hot and excited upon me in the dark. I throw off my clothes and go kneel in front of you,suck on you like a ripe cherry about to burst and hear your sharp intake of breath as your fist knots gently in my hair. I stand up and in synchrony we move towards the table.. me sitting on its top and you standing in front. A passionate fiery romp later we walk hand in hand back to the misery of our shared tent. We can never be alone it seems.. which is all we’ve wanted for years. I’m still smiling like this is a new love and I know you’re feeling it too. It’s fucking amazing… can’t describe it. We sneak into the tent and onto our matress and sleep as we always do, my head on your chest. I have not slept so deeply now in such a long time.
In the morning you are fixing the line on some fishing poles as I am messing with the fire as a grim faced ranger walks up. He tips his hat and gets right to the point.. “ I want to remind you folks this campground is under surveillance with night seeing cameras so please use your discretion when walking about the camp”
My mouth drops open and forms an embarrassed O while you just start laughing your crazy white boy wicked laugh.. our eyes meet and then we both laugh together, sharing a private memory as Eric says, “ wonder what in the heck he’s talking about guys…” Today I am sharing that memory with myself, sharp pain in my nose trying to blink the glass from my eyes, my jaw clenched too tightly to smile. Haven’t smiled a real smile in so long I wonder if I remember how…guess there’s only one way to see if I can remember…